Turned twenty eight a few days ago. I have never felt “different” just because I turn one year older, but this year I wanted to reflect on what I’ve learned in the past year, as I feel like it’s been a pretty transformative year for me.
Eight lessons I have learned:
1. It’s okay to ask for help. It does not show vulnerability or weakness; instead, it shows strength. Asking for help means you accept the situation you are in and you’re willing to do what it takes to improve it. It means you are taking control of whatever is plaguing you, instead of allowing it to have control over you.
2. In any situation, forgiveness begins with forgiving yourself. You can’t move on from a situation or relationship unless you acknowledge the role you played in it.
3. There’s really no need to rush decisions or bend over backwards to please others. This will only lead to unhappiness, regret (which you will later learn from so in a sense this is ok), repression, and possibly depression. It’s best to learn to befriend your intuition, and to listen to it often.
4. Not just intuition, but feelings as well. Get to know your feelings. Even though they may be negative, accept them. Do not ignore them. Be kind to them. Listen. Take deep breaths. Emotions only last for 90 seconds if you don’t re-trigger them and get stuck in a loop. Let them flow through you. Make a consistent effort to listen to them, acknowledge them, and do what it takes to feel the way you want to feel.
5. Don’t be afraid to invest in services that will help you. Especially services like coaching and therapy. Even though they may not produce tangible results immediately, or even though they are not widely seen as services you should invest in (ex. standard healthcare), remember that any step forward is a step forward.
6. Cherish the time you have with loved ones, including friends and family. Be present. Don’t dwell on the past or worry about the future. All you have is the now.
7. Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there. What they say is true: those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter won’t mind. Any judgment likely stems from jealousy and a lack of inner alignment on the other person’s part. Speak your truth.
8. Be open. Open to meeting new people, to trying new things, to having foreign or difficult conversations. Only through accessing the unknown do you grow.